Mindfulness Meditation Series Beginning May 9th

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I am so happy to be offering another Mindfulness Meditation Series at Yoga Yoga Westgate, beginning next Thursday, May 9th.  The 1st session was well attended with a group of such inquisitive students.  They came with open minds and  really questioned the material, enabling me to become a student along with them.  And my study and offering of the material only helped to embolden my conviction in the benefits of this practice.

I also had another opportunity to study with Sarah Powers last weekend here in Austin.  Her teachings and led practices have once again committed me to my meditation practice with renewed vigor.  Interestingly, not only did it recommit me, but my husband as well, as I found myself meditating side by side with him in the early morning hours this past week.

During this six week session, I hope to offer detailed methods of both Shamatha and Vipassana practice.  I will supplement practice with teachings that will give the methods a greater purpose.  And of course, all of this with a lot of time dedicated to guided, as well as self led practice time.  The format will allow for a lot of individual questions and answer, and discussion as a group.  I hope you will join me!

Below is the link to the series on Yoga Yoga’s website.  This will be offered both at noon and 8pm.

http://www.yogayoga.com/event/mindfulness-meditation-series-sheila-singh

With Gratitude,

Sheila

Pays No Heed to My Panicky Pushing

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“Pays no heed to my panicky pushing”.  A beautiful line from the poem, The Perfect Cup, and it feels quite apropos lately.

For the past few weeks, I have found myself a bit at odds with my girls.  Well perhaps not with them, but rather their pace of doing things.  The pace at which they eat, the pace at which they get dressed for school, the pace at which we gather all our things and get packed into the car, the list goes on.  It’s a sweet pace they have, but I often find myself encouraging them to move faster.  ”Let’s please focus on eating and less chatter.”  ”I don’t see any food in your mouth.”  ”If we don’t move faster, we are going to get another tardy”.  ”If you move a little faster, I’ll give you a treat”.  It’s a slippery slope that goes from encouragement to micromanaging, downward to threats and bribes very quickly.  Oh, and you can also add on a layer of motherly attitude and frustration to that at times.  Yes, yogi mamas get frustrated too. :)

Thankfully, for the most part my girls seem quite balanced in stepping up the pace when needed and knowing when Mom just needs to calm down and let them take their own sweet time, very much like this past Monday morning.

I began looking at the clock.  7:25am.  Known for  being just a tad late to most places, I am more particular about getting the kids to school on time.  Well Sonia was done with breakfast, but joyfully dancing around the kitchen.  I decided it was time to start pushing her to be ready to leave.  ”Sonia, we really don’t want another tardy do we?  Please start getting your shoes on and your things together.”  I waited.  She danced.  I was still slightly preoccupied in getting lunches together, yet again, a minute later, “Sonia, we really need to focus.  Sonia, are you listening to me, you need to focus.”  Even with my encouraging, her dance continued.  I finally got her near the door, where her shoes awaited.  I looked her in the eyes.  ”Sonia, I need you to get your shoes on right now.”  She looked up at me, eye to eye, and proceeded to sit down and hum.  She slowly put her shoes on as she hummed, while her Dad and I waited towering above her.  She paid no heed to my panicky pushing.  She slowly put her shoes on.  She double checked to make sure her ankle socks were pulled above her heel.  She pulled her velcro across the top of the sneaker, only to double check that it was pulled tight enough.  All the while, she calmly hummed.  And she proceeded in much the same manner with her next shoe.  I looked at her and instead of frustration, I couldn’t help but smile.  Neither could my husband.

I know I have said this before, but she is a yogini at heart.  Most kids are, I think, and, yes, I tend to make everything in life somehow relate to yoga.  :)  You are free to disagree.  Sonia demonstrated  the capacity to set her own pace, to be true to her own internal rhythm regardless of the one I urged her toward.  She was slow and detailed in her process and seemed to be quite taken by her own music.  I did end up letting her take her own sweet time and we did, in fact, get to school before the bell.

This is one of  yoga’s many lessons.  Learning how to drop into our own internal rhythms even when life or expectations call for one that is quite different.  It calls  us to look within.  To not heed to the panicky pushing, whether it comes from ourselves or another.  To know when we need to keep pace, but to also know when we can slow down, and even more so, to know when we need to.  In that slower pace, sometimes we awaken to the things that would otherwise have passed  by with little to no notice.  Life can in fact become more vivid, more interesting.  Even if it’s just putting on our shoes. :)

Below is the above mentioned poem by Joyce Rupp.

The Perfect Cup 

it is time for me 
to see the flaws 
of myself 
and stop 
being alarmed 

it is time for me 
to halt my drive 
for perfection 
and to accept 
my blemishes 

it is time for me 
to receive 
slowly evolving growth 
the kind that comes 
in God’s own good time 
and pays no heed 
to my panicky pushing 

it is time for me 
to embrace 
my humanness 
to love 
my incompleteness 

it is time for me 
to cherish 
the unwanted 
to welcome 
the unknown 
to treasure 
the unfulfilled 

if I wait to be 
perfect 
before I love myself 
I will always be 
unsatisfied 
and ungrateful 

if I wait until 
all the flaws, chips, 
and cracks disappear 
I will be the cup 
that stands on the shelf 
and is never used 

— Joyce Rupp

Sweet Sonia

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Sonia.  She is 6 years old and one of the three loves in my life.  The other two are her sister, Sophia, and her “Dada”, as she likes to call him.

Each inspire me in their own beautiful ways, but this post is about my sweet Sonia.

She has a radiant sense of curiousity about her, constantly asking me questions.  Often they are questions about the world that extend beyond her eyes and her touch.  They are questions that take her to those unseen aspects of life that are left to the imagination.

“Does the world ever end or does it keep going?”.  ”What happens to people after they die?”.   “Will grandma still be here when I am 20?”.

As much as she is filled with wonder  about the things which she can see, she is equally curious about those things which are still unseen and unknown to her.  I very well may be a doting mom, but to me it’s quite amazing that a 6 year old will question so much, so often.  She has the intuition to know that everything is not exactly as it appears to be.  And that beneath the surface, there is quite possibly more.  At a young age, she is the quintessential yogini.

What is yoga?  A practice that for some of us begins in the flesh and bones, with time and discipline moves us far beyond and deep within.  I practice asana, not to perfect the postures, but to allow the postures to take me deeper and toward more present states of consciousness.  A kind of awareness that allows me to feel the things that I cannot always see.  Yoga allows me to be with the form, but to learn how to feel the energy beneath it.  It allows me to be with the scattered and sometimes cluttered mind, but to open to moments of ease that still reside within.  And at times yoga helps me to sit with intense grief or anger, so seemingly solid, and nonetheless, to feel it pass and subside.

Things are not always as they appear to be.  In fact, they are often more connected then they seem and less solid than they appear.  Circumstances change.  Emotions, thoughts and sensations pass.  And in those moments, surprisingly, there is space.  There is spaciousness.  There is ease.  Thankfully yoga reminds of this everyday.  More so, Sonia reminds me what it means to remain forever curious and openhearted.  And for that I am forever thankful to her.

Mindfulness Meditation Series Beginning May 9th

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I am so happy to be offering 2 more six week Mindfulness Meditation Series at Yoga Yoga Westgate beginning May 9th through June 13th.  There will be two time slots you can join – noon or 8pm, both at Westgate.

Whether you are new to meditation or are an experienced practitioner, this series will allow you to deepen both your understanding and practice.  We will discuss in detail the techniques of Shamatha and Vipassana meditation and the philosophies from which they originate.  Every class will include discussion, a brief hatha practice, and a guided meditation.  This series is especially appealing for the student who is looking to establish a regular practice with the guidance of a teacher and the support of a community of students looking to do the same.

You can follow this link to register:  http://www.yogayoga.com/event/mindfulness-meditation-series-sheila-singh

or call Yoga Yoga at 512-258-1200 to reserve your spot now.

Bio:

Sheila Singh’s personal study and practice are influenced by the traditions of Buddhism and Yoga.  She loves to integrate both into a comprehensive style that allows for deep self-inquiry and understanding.  The ability to take these practices off the meditation cushion has been life changing for Sheila, allowing her to widen her embrace of all life circumstances.  She considers herself a lifelong student and recently completed a Mindfulness Meditation teacher training with Sarah Powers at Kripalu.  Sheila believes in cultivating a ‘beginner’s mind’ attitude in her own practice and study, as well as the teachings she offers.  She intends for  students to leave the series with tools that will allow them to carry on their own meditation practice and remain receptive, curious and compassionate in their life journey.

 

Mindfulness Meditation Workshop for Teens @ Austin Kula Yoga

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I am very excited to be offering a Mindfulness Meditation workshop geared toward young adults.  I came upon these practices in my 30′s and have found them to be  immensely beneficial.  I believe our children can benefit equally and perhaps even more so if they are introduced to these tools at an earlier age.  Below are some of the details of this workshop.  Please feel free to contact me with questions at sheilasingh@gmail.com.

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Time/Location:  April 21st,  5-7:30pm @ Austin Kula Yoga in TarryTown

Cost: $25

Are you a teen who is looking for ways to manage the many stresses of life as a young adult?  Do you seek the tools to be able to slow down the pace of life and feel more grounded and at ease?

This is the workshop for you.  I will cover the techniques of mindfulness meditation and mindfulness-based practices.  We will discuss why and how they are applicable to your life and how you can begin to build a personal practice even amidst busy schedules.  There will be time for both practice and discussion.  Contact me at sheilasingh@gmail.com for more information or contact Austin Kula Yoga at 512-542-3334 to register or follow the link below.

http://clients.mindbodyonline.com/ws.asp?studioid=2132&stype=-8&sTG=11&sVT=100&sView=day&sTrn=100000122

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Teaching becomes the Teacher

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Five years ago when I ventured down the path of yoga teacher training, it hadn’t occurred to me that teaching yoga would entail standing and speaking in front of groups of people.  I simply enjoyed practicing yoga, reading about the philosophy and after having two sweet girls, I was looking to step away from an engineering career so that I could spend more time at home.  As I began teacher training, the public speaking part hit me.  It was an ‘Oh shit’ moment.  ”What in the world was I thinking?!”

Almost four years into teaching yoga, and teaching itself has been one of many great teachers I have come across to this day.  Teaching yoga makes me face my own insecurities and vulnerabilities every time I get up in front of a class.   It gives me the forum to stand in front of a group of students when I feel comfortable and have a plan.  It presses me to stay the course, when the plans fall apart and I need to attend to the unexpected.  Especially in those moments, I know what courage really is, as trivial as it sounds.  To feel exposed and to hold space for students, both the ones that leave happy and the ones who leave frustrated.  It brings me face to face with all that self-talk and doubt, wondering “do I really have something to offer?”.  It has taught me to build focus and concentration even with the internal chatter that sometimes surfaces.  ”Did she not hear me or is she choosing to do navasana while I have everyone else in warrior 1 because she hates me?” :)

Doubt, or this self-talk as I’ve described it, is one of the five hindrances mentioned in Buddhism.  It is the kind of self-talk that makes assumed conclusions without sincere investigation.  It is self-talk that stems from a place of insecurity and ego, in the sense that you project things onto yourself when they are really not your things to carry at all.  It undermines one’s faith and sense of (humble) self-confidence.  Doubt colors our own self-image in a way that can feel paralyzing.

Four years into teaching, I have learned to watch the inner workings of vulnerability and doubt, and how they play out.  I have learned to take it more lightly and to even laugh.   I have learned that I love teaching yoga.  It makes me feel alive.  It helps me to feel fulfilled at this point in life.

And yes, I do believe I have something to offer and so I stay the course.  Even more so, I love that teaching has become a part of my practice.  It has helped me to do the hard work of embracing both the light and the shadow sides that sometimes go unnoticed or ignored.  I am grateful to be teaching and to have a community of students that help me in more ways than they realize.

The Mindfulness Meditation Series @ Yoga Yoga Westgate

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I am really excited to be offering a six week Mindfulness Meditation Series at Yoga Yoga Westgate beginning February 21st on Thursdays at noon.

Whether you are new to meditation or are an experienced practitioner, this series will allow you to deepen both your understanding and practice.  We will discuss in detail the techniques of Shamatha and Vipassana meditation and the philosophies from which they originate.  Every class will include discussion, a brief hatha practice, and a guided meditation.  This series is especially appealing for the student who is looking to establish a regular practice with the guidance of a teacher and the support of a community of students looking to do the same.

You can follow this link to register:  http://www.yogayoga.com/event/mindfulness-meditation-series-sheila-singh

or call Yoga Yoga at 512-258-1200 to reserve your spot now.

Bio:

Sheila Singh’s personal study and practice are influenced by the traditions of Buddhism and Yoga.  She loves to integrate both into a comprehensive style that allows for deep self-inquiry and understanding.  The ability to take these practices off the meditation cushion has been life changing for Sheila, allowing her to widen her embrace of all life circumstances.  She considers herself a lifelong student and recently completed a Mindfulness Meditation teacher training with Sarah Powers at Kripalu.  Sheila believes in cultivating a ‘beginner’s mind’ attitude in her own practice and study, as well as the teachings she offers.  She intends for  students to leave the series with tools that will allow them to carry on their own meditation practice and remain receptive, curious and compassionate in their life journey.

Discovering Your Authentic Self Through Mindfulness Meditation

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I am very happy to be offering this workshop In January.  It’s a personal study and practice close to my heart.  I hope you will join me!

Discovering Your Authentic Self Through Mindfulness Meditation

 Yoga Yoga 360,  Saturday, January 26th,  2:00-4:30pm

Discover your most authentic nature through the practice of mindfulness meditation.  What does happiness mean to us?  How do we respond to adversity?  How do we receive joy?  These are some of the questions we will explore.  Use the contemplative aspect of mindfulness meditation to traverse the nature of our minds and experience so that we can live a more fulfilling, integrated and connected  life.  Class will include lecture, discussion, yin/gentle hatha yoga, meditation. No experience required, simply an interest to know yourself more fully. :)

The Cup of Our Life

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Holding space.  I use that phrase often in my yoga classes.  I see myself not as “the teacher”, but rather as a guide who hopes to hold space for students to arrive within their own experience and inner wisdom.  One’s that arises out of their own hearts, their bodies, not mine.  I was fortunate enough this week to have my space and experience held by my sweet husband and Mom.

It was one of those weeks where I felt like I was being pushed to my wit’s end.  My energy was waning, both physically and emotionally.  I know my life is so fortunate and there are people who have far greater challenges and difficulties, but regardless this was how I felt.  I felt like I was falling apart a little, but that I  needed to look like I was keeping it together.  I often feel that way.  As a mom, a wife, a daughter, among other things, sometimes I feel like I can’t let people see me falling apart, especially my kids and my family.  I want to appear strong and collected for them.  But that makes it even harder when the inner seams are slowly fraying.

Well, Friday evening I did just that.  I let the seams come apart.  I bawled and cried to my husband and my mom, at different times, like I was five years old.  I can’t remember the last time I cried in that way in front of them.  Don’t get me wrong, I do cry and sometimes quite easily.  But this was different.  This was crying and allowing myself to be seen as someone who did not have it together.  My husband lovingly sat next to me and listened.  I was a bit afraid that he would start offering advice and direction, but he didn’t.  He just listened.  With my mom, sometimes it’s even harder for me to cry to her.  She has already done so much for me in her lifetime, and I often feel like now is my time to be there for her, rather than to ask for more.  But, alas, there is sometimes nothing more comforting than a mother’s shoulder to lean on.  I am grateful to have her in my life.

In the moment, I didn’t realize it.  The crying was not at all planned.  And even as I cried, the voice inside my head kept telling me to stop because my family was listening. :)  The next day, I unexpectedly felt lighter and a little more at ease.  Being able to express myself, especially the self that felt exhausted and drained, allowed me to let go a little.  They held space for me to be exactly as I was.  And they didn’t ask for anything other than that.  I didn’t have to explain why.  I didn’t have to figure out how to fix it.  They simply listened and allowed me to know that they were there for me.  Sometimes that is what it takes.  It’s as difficult as it is simple.  We can slowly heal if we have the support and the courage to be seen as we are, not as we want to be seen.

Thank you Herb and Mom for your unending support and love.

I’ll leave you with this beautiful and poignant poem from Joyce Rupp.

The Perfect Cup 

it is time for me 
to see the flaws 
of myself 
and stop 
being alarmed 

it is time for me 
to halt my drive 
for perfection 
and to accept 
my blemishes 

it is time for me 
to receive 
slowly evolving growth 
the kind that comes 
in God’s own good time 
and pays no heed 
to my panicky pushing 

it is time for me 
to embrace 
my humanness 
to love 
my incompleteness 

it is time for me 
to cherish 
the unwanted 
to welcome 
the unknown 
to treasure 
the unfulfilled 

if I wait to be 
perfect 
before I love myself 
I will always be 
unsatisfied 
and ungrateful 

if I wait until 
all the flaws, chips, 
and cracks disappear 
I will be the cup 
that stands on the shelf 
and is never used 

— Joyce Rupp

Motherhood

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It’s been a while since I have posted to my blog.  I haven’t made time to write nor have I been particularly inspired or moved to write about anything.  But today that shifted.

For the past few months, my sweet little girls have been doing what kids do best – testing and pushing the limits of what they can and can’t get away with.  It’s all a very real, fun and exhausting part of parenting – well, unless you have the perfect child.  ;)

I have been parenting in the best way that I know how.   Yes, it’s a lot of my yoga that parents through me by continually reinforcing the idea to remember to take deep breaths, to know when they feel frustrated and to question why.  I have been trying, in as patient a way as I can, to keep feeling, talking and breathing our way through the terrible two’s – except that my girls are five and seven. :)

Of course months, actually years, into this style of parenting, I have been pushed to take away privileges and even more severe action when called for.  My husband always reminds me how his mom once broke a rolling pin on his behind, at which point I always remind to never try that on the girls.

So tonight was another normal night in our house.  Dinner was done, baths were in process.  And Sonia, my five year old, refused to listen and insisted on refuting everything I asked her to do.  I tried to reason with her, asked her why she wasn’t listening, at which point she threw her clothes on the floor and began to stomp away from me.  Well an hour into this and my patience had experienced a new low.  I grabbed her by the arm, walked her down the stairs, in her hair still wet, pajamas only half on and proceeded to leave her outside, locked out of the house for ten minutes.  Mind you it was dark and cold and quite dramatic, as she screamed loudly for the first several minutes.  I was determined to keep her there despite the screaming and was expecting CPS to come knocking on my door at any time.  But a few minutes in, the screams subsided.  I finally walked out and brought her in, at which time her Dad came and took her to her room to have a stern talk.

I was at a loss.  I had no more tools, nor patience or energy to give.  I walked up to her room, asked everyone to leave and sat down on her bed.  I looked at her and asked her what I needed to do to get her to listen to me and to stay calm.  And before I knew it, I was sobbing in front of my five year old like I had never before.  At that moment, I felt pathetic, looking back now I’ll prefer to use the word vulnerable. :)  I bawled for a good two minutes, which felt more like two hours, considering my  five year old was watching.  I finally wiped my eyes and looked up at her.  Her eyes were red and welling with tears and her cheeks swollen.  She looked at me and started to cry, but it was that soft cry, not the loud one she uses to get my attention.  The kind that you really don’t even want anyone to see.  I moved closer to her and held her.  We didn’t say anything else.  I asked her to get into bed and if she wanted to read.  We read for a while.

I told her that I loved her and I wanted her to help me help her.  She didn’t let go of me for almost an hour.  She gave me more kisses than I could have counted and told me she loved me more times than I could remember, eventually lulling herself to sleep with her arms wrapped around me.