The Final Meditation
As I sat in meditation this morning, I could feel the layers of myself soften. Almost as if they were falling away. A lightness emerged where I was no longer absorbed in the abstraction of thinking, but resting a little more fully in direct experience itself. The heaviness of identity, history, anticipations, emotions melted for some moments. Even time became irrelevant.
As I returned back to my thinking mind, there was the recognition of meditation as a death. Death, not in a dark way, but in a way of an ultimate freedom. We often get caught in the human realms. We think we are only our history, our identity, our body, our successes and our failures, and yet we are so much more. All of these layers of experience and humanity can obscure the luminous essence of what is our original Nature and essence. An essence that can never be taken or given. It just is.
In those latter moments of meditation, I felt connected to my dear father in law who recently passed away. I felt the realms where we are eternally connected in a beautifully unobscured and pure way. Perhaps his passing was his final meditation, where he was returning to the original, undisturbed, and undivided essence. The state prior to all states, and itself not even a state.
I still long to connect with my father in law in a human way, but for now this offers some solace to the heart. It was my great honor to call Shangara Singh my Dad. I will miss him dearly.