I am sitting and working on my laptop, when yet again I see the semicircular arches blinking at the top of my screen, informing me that connection has been lost. As I maneuver to determine how to re-establish connection, I giggle to myself, thinking, “Wouldn’t it be nice if humans came with such a signal? Some soft, friendly colorful signal that would start to gently blink across the screen of my eyes to let me know that The Connection has been lost”. Though that would make us more like machines than humans.
Actually, we have quite an exquisite body of wisdom (literally often in our bodies) that is conveying information all the time. We just have to become familiar with the various ways that these signals are conveyed. When we feel that something is amiss in life or that the feeling of connection has been lost, it is our responsibility to inquire. Actually the signal itself is calling us to inquire, and often it will get louder until we do.
What feels amiss? To what are we seeking connection after all? What are my intentions and what is my purpose? Is my life serving this or pulling me further away from it?
I would venture to say that most of us are seeking connection to ourselves and to our purpose in the world. Often we seek connection to others, where we feel a sense of belonging and being at home. We also wish to connect with the experience of happiness, joy and equanimity, one that is even available through all the circumstances we might meet in life.
When any of the above pieces are lost (imagine your body’s circuitry flickering in some way), the body, the heart and the mind begin to relay all sorts of messages. Perhaps it is the feeling of sadness or anger. It may include beliefs such as “I am not enough” or “I need to do more” or some nature of memory. This is not your circuitry going bad. In fact, by recognizing and integrating these messages skillfully, we can come back into feeling aligned and connected to the things that truly matter.
Meditation is one of many practices that allows us to become aware of the intimate and intricate signals that are being conveying through our day. Perhaps I recognize that I am feeling reactive and emotional, as well physically tired and exhausted. While my mind may be telling me to do more, in being with the whole experience, I may realize I need rest foremost. Without rest, I am less balanced and my nervous system is unregulated. If and when I get rest, some of the emotional charge or chatter may subside on its own. Often what remains needs and wants sincere attention. Perhaps there is an emotion that carries more than what is being presented at the surface. It requires some heartfelt listening and feeling what you feel. Sometimes integrating emotional content and its associated beliefs and memories can take a lot of time, years in my humble experience. Patience is an important aspect of practice.
Rather than avoiding, we can adjust our mindset to recognize and welcome the messages that arise. In some way, each message tells us whether we are in alignment with ourselves, our intention/purpose, or whether we are not. There is no textbook that can give you the answer. It is ultimately something that you know from within, and the practice of meditation and inquiry are the tools that bring you back Home to this inner knowing.