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Her Heart.

I woke up early this morning and turned toward Sophia.  It has been eleven years since I have been graced by her presence.  Instead of the usual pattern of getting up to meditate, I opted to stay in bed next to her.  Every birthday, every day really, is precious, but somehow eleven seemed even more significant.  In this past year I have seen her personality and spirit take shape, with flairs of spunk and humor, while holding a quiet and observant nature at times.  She has developed friendships that don’t always involve me and interests that are at times far different from those I had growing up.  Witnessing her soul slowly unfold is a gift.

I stayed in bed, feeling her heart beating in my palm.  I could not help but feel overwhelmed with emotion and tears, the joyful kind.  I have never known a love like this; a love that feels as close to pure as I think I will ever experience and a relationship where the lines between self and other truly begin to soften.  I was reminded of a saying, “To be a mother is to have your heart forever walk around outside your body”.  When I look at my girls, I see a piece of my heart outside my body.  The connection is so deep and profound that words really cannot describe it.

Today I rest in this love; to experience it is Grace itself.

2 Comments Post a comment
  1. This reminds me of some of Thich Nhat Hahn’s writings in which he describes how we are not a single separate entity, but we also carry our parents and grandparents within us.

    August 2, 2016

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