Spirits, not the drinking kind.
I sat for meditation this morning and felt a subtle unrest. Nothing big, but at the same time palpable. Were it not for my meditation practice, I am pretty sure these kind of feelings would go unnoticed, even while impacting behavior and thought.
Within minutes, it was clear I was struggling a little with my expectations of certain relationships. I kept returning to my body, which gave me space to see the occasional thoughts pass through. This continued a while – pockets of space, periods of planning what I have to do today, feelings of a tension and storyline, and back through a moment of space. At some point, I was vividly aware of the layering of my feelings, thoughts and concepts. The beautiful thing about awareness is that it allows you to be less tied to those very same thoughts and concepts. Instead there is a freedom in just seeing them arise and subside.
As I closed practice, I felt a lightness of spirit and it was more clear to me that we are all spirit, not only this amalgam of concepts, titles and roles. It is easy to get caught up in seeing people through the temporary role they play in our lives, whether it is a mother, father, spouse or a friend. Are we our roles or are we also spirit unfolding our own path, meeting the exact things that will allow our hearts to become more free? If I only meet people through their roles, I leave little room to remember that they are also a soul with a direction and purpose that is far beyond the ways in which I see them and the things that I expect from them. It’s quite a living paradox at times.
Today I got up from my cushion feeling spirit in and around me. I know this will not be easy to remember as I begin to move through my day and patterned expectations come rushing through, but nonetheless, I will carry it as my intention.
The roles we play are transient, the Being we are remains unchanging and timeless.