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Spirits, not the drinking kind.

I sat for meditation this morning and felt a subtle unrest.  Nothing big, but at the same time palpable.  Were it not for my meditation practice, I am pretty sure these kind of feelings would go unnoticed, even while impacting behavior and thought.

Within minutes, it was clear I was struggling a little with my expectations of certain relationships.  I kept returning to my body, which gave me space to see the occasional thoughts pass through.  This continued a while – pockets of space, periods of planning what I have to do today, feelings of a tension and storyline, and back through a moment of space.  At some point, I was vividly aware of the layering of my feelings, thoughts and concepts.  The beautiful thing about awareness is that it allows you to be less tied to those very same thoughts and concepts.  Instead there is a freedom in just seeing them arise and subside.

As I closed practice, I felt a lightness of spirit and it was more clear to me that we are all spirit, not only this amalgam of concepts, titles and roles.  It is easy to get caught up in seeing people through the temporary role they play in our lives, whether it is a mother, father, spouse or a friend.  Are we our roles or are we also spirit unfolding our own path, meeting the exact things that will allow our hearts to become more free?  If I only meet people through their roles, I leave little room to remember that they are also a soul with a direction and purpose that is far beyond the ways in which I see them and the things that I expect from them.  It’s quite a living paradox at times.

Today I got up from my cushion feeling spirit in and around me.  I know this will not be easy to remember as I begin to move through my day and patterned expectations come rushing through, but nonetheless, I will carry it as my intention.

The roles we play are transient, the Being we are remains unchanging and timeless.



10 Comments Post a comment
  1. Beautiful. This really resonates.

    April 21, 2016
  2. wonderful reminder Sheila to step back and look at the bigger picture. we are all on our own journey, intersecting in our paths at times, watching how our lives unfold and manifest

    April 21, 2016
  3. I re-read the folllowing passage by Matt Licata this morning and heard a similar reminder in your thoughtful post. Thanks.

    “When you are triggered and the feelings are just too much, it is very likely that your core narrative – what you believe about yourself, about others, and the world – is close and nearby. It is circling around you, not to harm or work against you, but as a harbinger of integration. It is longing to be re-authored, but needs to hear from you first that you no longer need its protection. In ways that seem counter-intuitive, it is trying to help you, and keep you out of dysregulation, disintegration, and flooding.”

    April 21, 2016
    • Yes! Thank you so much for sharing that passage Elizabeth.

      April 21, 2016
  4. Hey Sheila,
    That was a wonderful post and you weaved us through your thoughts (and eventual lack of) so eloquently. What a cool epiphany.
    Also, that poem by Rumi is so good! I resonate with it so much, haha.
    My mom keeps sending me your latest posts because she knows I feel the same way. It would be great to catch up sometime.
    Keep writing!

    April 21, 2016
    • It is so so great to hear from you Aashish! It has been so long, thank you so much for reading 🙂 I would love to hear how and where you are now. Hope to connect soon & please send convey my love to your mom!

      April 22, 2016
  5. Lesley #

    Thank you for sharing this, Sheila.

    April 22, 2016
    • So good to hear from you Lesley. I hope you are well! Miss you

      April 23, 2016

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