Hungry, Tired & Cranky
The door bell is ringing and they rush in. My girls are fighting, with bouts of physicality. Herb walks in looking tired, while simultaneously parenting the girls. In moments, the stress and charge of the situation washes through me. I feel the edginess in my body, even more palpable because I had had a day of being quietly to myself mostly. Thankfully I am in a place where I am not carried away with the charge, but I clearly feel its impact.
So this is what I am managing most days. Don’t get me wrong. I would not change it for anything. I adore my family, but it is so important to know and understand how we are navigating energetically through our day, what our nervous system is absorbing, what it is able to discharge and what it continues to hold until a later time. This is not big stress in the scheme of things, but it is not insignificant either. If I want my family and I to thrive, not just to manage and survive, this kind of awareness is vital.
All in all, things settled soon after they arrived. There was a mixture of tired, hungry and cranky. As I made some food and offered hugs, the edginess seemed to subside, temporarily at least. The chatter and the activity returned home and I welcomed it. I was equally thankful to have taken time to come home myself. Morning meditation gives me a taste of this everyday, but day long mini-retreats will be on the plan more frequently. Home, the home inside each of us, is a sweet place. I’d like to visit it more often.