Once a weakness, now a strength.
For years I have known myself as a sensitive person, not only in how things land in me, but I am sensitive to how things may be landing for others. Until the last two or so years, my sensitivities felt like a weakness. It felt like something that was wrong or bad, and something that I either needed to fix or cover up. There is a lot behind why I may be this way, very likely a mix of both nurture and nature. I grew up in a household where often I required being hypersensitive to assess whether things were okay or not okay. And perhaps, I was already inclined to this innately. Regardless, I will never know exactly why, but I know what is true for me today. And old stories can open with a new chapter.
It has been an ongoing process to be able to see my sensitivity and empathy as a strength. There was a period of time in my life where I would feel a charge of sensitivity arising and my gut reaction was to disguise it. You can imagine how this was an unhealthy and unsustainable pattern to be in. As my teachers said this weekend, energy does not go away, it is only transformed. So all the charge I would hold was ultimately going to manifest, sometimes much later.
Today I see what I once viewed as a weakness as my strength. It is exactly what has put me on my path. I am still learning how to direct my sensitivity and empathy in a way that is skillful and of benefit to the world around me, but I am more clear in this today than before. It is what helps me to relate deeply to the world around me and I know something wholesome and whole will emerge from it.
I cannot end without offering love and gratitude to Jenn Wooten and Angie Knight for everything they shared this past weekend, for beautifully modeling this very path in their own life, and for sharing both their struggles and wisdom with such humility and grace. Thank you.