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Pays No Heed to My Panicky Pushing

“Pays no heed to my panicky pushing”.  A beautiful line from the poem, The Perfect Cup, and it feels quite apropos lately.

For the past few weeks, I have found myself a bit at odds with my girls.  Well perhaps not with them, but rather their pace of doing things.  The pace at which they eat, the pace at which they get dressed for school, the pace at which we gather all our things and get packed into the car, the list goes on.  It’s a sweet pace they have, but I often find myself encouraging them to move faster.  “Let’s please focus on eating and less chatter.”  “I don’t see any food in your mouth.”  “If we don’t move faster, we are going to get another tardy”.  “If you move a little faster, I’ll give you a treat”.  It’s a slippery slope that goes from encouragement to micromanaging, downward to threats and bribes very quickly.  Oh, and you can also add on a layer of motherly attitude and frustration to that at times.  Yes, yogi mamas get frustrated too. 🙂

Thankfully, for the most part my girls seem quite balanced in stepping up the pace when needed and knowing when Mom just needs to calm down and let them take their own sweet time, very much like this past Monday morning.

I began looking at the clock.  7:25am.  Known for  being just a tad late to most places, I am more particular about getting the kids to school on time.  Well Sonia was done with breakfast, but joyfully dancing around the kitchen.  I decided it was time to start pushing her to be ready to leave.  “Sonia, we really don’t want another tardy do we?  Please start getting your shoes on and your things together.”  I waited.  She danced.  I was still slightly preoccupied in getting lunches together, yet again, a minute later, “Sonia, we really need to focus.  Sonia, are you listening to me, you need to focus.”  Even with my encouraging, her dance continued.  I finally got her near the door, where her shoes awaited.  I looked her in the eyes.  “Sonia, I need you to get your shoes on right now.”  She looked up at me, eye to eye, and proceeded to sit down and hum.  She slowly put her shoes on as she hummed, while her Dad and I waited towering above her.  She paid no heed to my panicky pushing.  She slowly put her shoes on.  She double checked to make sure her ankle socks were pulled above her heel.  She pulled her velcro across the top of the sneaker, only to double check that it was pulled tight enough.  All the while, she calmly hummed.  And she proceeded in much the same manner with her next shoe.  I looked at her and instead of frustration, I couldn’t help but smile.  Neither could my husband.

I know I have said this before, but she is a yogini at heart.  Most kids are, I think, and, yes, I tend to make everything in life somehow relate to yoga.  🙂  You are free to disagree.  Sonia demonstrated  the capacity to set her own pace, to be true to her own internal rhythm regardless of the one I urged her toward.  She was slow and detailed in her process and seemed to be quite taken by her own music.  I did end up letting her take her own sweet time and we did, in fact, get to school before the bell.

This is one of  yoga’s many lessons.  Learning how to drop into our own internal rhythms even when life or expectations call for one that is quite different.  It calls  us to look within.  To not heed to the panicky pushing, whether it comes from ourselves or another.  To know when we need to keep pace, but to also know when we can slow down, and even more so, to know when we need to.  In that slower pace, sometimes we awaken to the things that would otherwise have passed  by with little to no notice.  Life can in fact become more vivid, more interesting.  Even if it’s just putting on our shoes. 🙂

Below is the above mentioned poem by Joyce Rupp.

The Perfect Cup 

it is time for me 
to see the flaws 
of myself 
and stop 
being alarmed 

it is time for me 
to halt my drive 
for perfection 
and to accept 
my blemishes 

it is time for me 
to receive 
slowly evolving growth 
the kind that comes 
in God’s own good time 
and pays no heed 
to my panicky pushing 

it is time for me 
to embrace 
my humanness 
to love 
my incompleteness 

it is time for me 
to cherish 
the unwanted 
to welcome 
the unknown 
to treasure 
the unfulfilled 

if I wait to be 
before I love myself 
I will always be 
and ungrateful 

if I wait until 
all the flaws, chips, 
and cracks disappear 
I will be the cup 
that stands on the shelf 
and is never used 

— Joyce Rupp

2 Comments Post a comment
  1. Lovely post Sheils.

    I often think I like their pace….why am I trying to quicken them? I need to go their pace.

    April 27, 2013
    • Thank you Herbie 🙂 I agree, we should take their lead, xo

      April 29, 2013

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