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Living by our Hearts

A point of conflict with my spouse, whom I’ll say I love dearly, motivated me to write this post; to question our need to define things in terms of absolutes: right and wrong, good and bad.  What makes us want to delineate life in such black and white terms when most of life falls into that grey area?  What is it about the essence of human nature that makes it so hard to let go of conflict, when the conflict only causes us more struggle and discomfort?

We have all gotten into a disagreement or an argument at some point, perhaps with a friend, a partner, even a stranger.  And often we become attached to our notions of what may have been right or what may have been wrong.  It’s these notions that prevent us from letting things go.  In the end what is right and what is wrong is a subjective thing, not an absolute.  And attaching and holding onto these ideas, sometimes righteously so, is what belabors the struggle in our minds.  I have found, over and over through personal experience, it is more painful to remain in the place of right and wrong.  It is a place where barriers reside, where judgement, insecurity and ego keep me removed from the more vulnerable, tender place in my heart.  When I allow myself to step away from my mind and soften into my heart, to see myself in others and others within myself, I open into a more compassionate and peaceful place where notions of right and wrong dissolve, where you and I, in spirit, are one and the same.  We are together in this beautiful journey, perhaps at different places along the way, moving with our own time, but ultimately toward the same end:  to experience and live life from the open and serene place within our hearts.

Rumi
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.  I’ll meet you there.

6 Comments Post a comment
  1. Sheldon #

    I think that your position on this matter is completely wrong 🙂

    I’m kidding of course. I so agree with you. I definitely think that it’s our attachments to our point of view and our inability to step out of ourselves and observe the issue from another vantage-point is what stifles us – creatively, emotionally and spiritually. It’s like any relationship – it can’t survive without the participants being flexible and yielding.

    Great post! But I still think you’re completely wrong!

    November 29, 2010
    • LOL, too funny! thanks for making me smile 🙂
      you’re completely right, no doubt, about me being absolutely wrong!

      November 29, 2010
  2. Great post! Flexing without breaking (what you truly believe) is not easy. I, at least, often feel I need to cling to beliefs that aren’t as important as I think they are. Like my daughter not owning any Barbies. 🙂

    November 29, 2010
    • April #

      Love this post, and it’s almost eerie that this subject has been on my mind a lot lately. I tend to see everything in black and white. I’m thankful that I at least keep my mouth shut about it because so many times I’ve felt stupid for making assumptions after finding out the whole story.

      The more I “search” the more I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t know anything. And that has made me infinitely more open to others and their (and my) shades of gray.

      November 29, 2010
      • April, that often happens to me too! I’ll be thinking about certain things in my life & i get to a yoga class and its exactly what the teacher is talking about … i think sometimes its just what you are open to hearing & when you are ready, it somehow comes at you from all angles in life 🙂

        November 30, 2010
  3. Priis #

    Love the post! You have become such the poet!

    December 5, 2010

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